How Not To Name A Kid
by XxDragonLegaciesxX
Summary: Jellal and Erza are going to have a kid! There is only one problem; What will they name it? Their parents may be S-Class mages, but when it comes to picking names... Well, I feel bad for this child...


**A/N: We mean no offense if your name is one of the ones mentioned in the story. Enjoy!**

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Jellal looked over at his wife who was currently eating strawberry cheesecake. He smiled, seeing her blissful face as she devoured her favorite dessert.

"You know, maybe you shouldn't eat so much sugar. It might be bad for the baby." He teased.

Erza glared at him. "I'm pretty sure this kid is immune to strawberry cheesecake by now."

Jellal laughed. " I bet they're gonna hate strawberry cheesecake when it gets older."

"Oh why don't you just suck it!"

Jellal just grinned, used to his wife's outbursts by now.

"Speaking of the baby," he said. "What are we going to name it?"

Erza shrugged. "We don't know if it's a boy or girl yet."

"Still, we should at least have something in mind. How about we make two lists. Top 5 girl names and top 5 boy names." Jellal handed her a pencil and a piece of paper.

"Fine..." Erza said, taking the pencil and paper from Jellal.

"Lets start with the girls. I'm thinking... Ashley?"

" Eh, its okay. But you know you can come up with a better name than Ashley. Ashley Scarlet-Ferdnandes? It doesn't exactly click." Erza stated, sticking a forkful of cake in her mouth.

"Then what's your idea of a good name?"

"Gertrude!"

"Gertrude? You have got to be kidding me! Who in their right mind would scar their child forever by naming them Gertrude?!You might as well name them Honeyloofah Ding-Dong!" Jellal stared and shook his head at Erza.

"I like it! That ones going on the list!" She smiled happily.

Jellal sighed, and Erza glared at him.

"Fine. We'll say them at the same time then!" Jellal said, feeling slightly exasperated.

"Alright!" Erza narrowed her eyes.

"Isa!"

"Nara!"

"Kira!"

" Erzucchini Pickle-Pooh!" Erza yelled with cheesecake flying out of her mouth.

Jellal looked at his poker-faced wife, and cracked up. "ERZUCCHINI PICKLE-POOH?!"

Erza just blushed and narrowed her eyes at Jellal. "It's a perfectly good name!"

"You know what? For the baby's sake, I hope it's gonna be a boy."

2 MONTHS LATER-

"Thank god. Our child won't be named Erzucchini Pickle-pooh!" Jellal cheered as he looked at the picture in his hand. "Told you so."

"Hmph whatever. Well, got any boy names in mind?"

"Of course! Jellal!" Jellal said proudly, puffing out his chest.

"Interesting, but ever since I was little, I vowed to myself that if I ever had a boy then he would have the most awesome name in the world!" Erza beamed.

"And what would that be, my dear?"

"Bob!"

Jellal groaned. " You can't be serious!"

"I'm perfectly serious! Bob is the best name ever!" She said defensively.

" No offense honey, but 'Bob' is the most unoriginal thing you could possibly name a child. Think outside the box okay? Let's try and think of other names we can both agree on!"

"Ugh fine, same time again!"

" Gotcha." Jellal smiled.

"Bob!"

"Jellal!"

"Bob!"

"Jellal!"

" BOB!"

"JELLAL!"

"JERZACK!"

Jellal laughed. Then Erza did too. Five seconds later, they were cracking up, forgetting all about the argument.

" H-How about this?" Jellal asked. " If the baby looks like me, we're naming it Jellal. If it looks like you, we'll name it Bob."

" Hmm, that sounds fair. Deal!"

4 MONTHS LATER-

Jellal smiled at the sleeping child in Erza's arms and laughed.

" What's so funny?" Erza asked, looking up at him.

" Well, he ended up looking like both of us."

" Yeah, he has your beautiful azure hair!"

"Ah, but he has your cute brown eyes! "

Erza blushed and smiled.

" Remember what you said? If he looked like you, then his name would be Jellal, and if he looked like me, his name would be Bob?"

" Ya?"

" Well, I've got the perfect name for him!"

" And what would that be?"

" Jabob!"

Wish poor Jabob Scarlet-Fernandes good luck you guys. He's gonna need it.

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**Please review!**


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